I haven’t had the time to shoot for awhile, as work keeps me busy. It’s pretty full on but it’s nice to be keeping distracted, if I can’t be doing something I love. The anxiety has been getting progressively worse each day but I realized there is not much I can do when I don’t have control. It feels like the essence of who you are is betraying you, that awful choking feeling that makes you feel sick at the pit of your stomach, when you lose all sensation in your body, feeling that you are all wrong, and wrong to be alive.
And it’s times like these when I realized I have come so far from who I used to be. It’s alright sometimes to cry and be thankful for the good people around you. Life is too much to not be smiling every day, or to just smear on some red lipstick and set up the camera.